The Progress Report (No. 3) – Total Honesty

DISCLAIMER: This is a ‘Non-Fictional’ Post.

This is the third instalment to ‘The Progress Report‘. I’m so glad to have finally written this, I only hope that things for this blog will only get better in the future.

These are definitely my favourite posts to write! So I hope you enjoy!

As always, any likes, comments or follows would be greatly appreciated 🙂

Photo Credit: Khachik Simonian (Courtesy of Unsplash.com)

Photo Editor: By ME! (Courtesy of Befunky.com)


10:23AM: ‘I already feel better…’

I’ve finally figured it out. I’ve finally figured out why I haven’t been blogging (or rather writing in general) very much lately. Actually, this struggle to write has been going on ever since I started writing. As it turns out, the answer to this dilemma was quite simple:

‘I love writing, I love art and I definitely love to create. But I’m actually not that passionate about Writing.’

And here’s what probably surprised me the most during this revelation, and that is:

‘I don’t think that I’ve ever been that passionate about writing.’

And because I haven’t had that passion for writing in the same way that other fellow Writers, Authors and Bloggers have, every platform that I’ve ever shared my writing on, from FanFiction to Wattpad and now to WordPress. I’ve continuously  struggled to create content and maintain it ever since I began.

After thinking about it some more, I started to wonder whether I didn’t lose my passion for writing. But rather I never had it in the first place.

Whilst Writing this, I thought of a quote I heard from the TV Show Glee once. It was in Season 3 Episode 12 and a female student was speaking to her teacher. Now this teacher was teaching an extracurricular activity and had a job as a Spanish Teacher at the school in the day. (I know this seems irrelevant, but bear with me) So this teacher was fighting for his title for Spanish Teacher against the teacher who taught Spanish at Night. Now that Teacher love the Spanish language, he was passionate and unlike the daytime teacher, he could fluently speak Spanish.

Now when this student asked the daytime Spanish Teacher, why he had become a Spanish Teacher he had said that it was because it was the only teaching position available at the time.

And she responded by saying,

‘I’m going to remind you of something a great Teacher once taught me:

‘Without passion you can’t succeed’.

“Who taught you that?” He asked her.

“You did, and you do. When you teach Glee.” (‘Glee’ is the club that he taught because he wanted to bring it back because he had been in it when he was in High School. He had a love of Singing, Dancing and Performing which led him to succeed in running that club. In the end, his passion didn’t go unnoticed. He was not only made Principal of the School, but they renamed it so that it would be a Performing Arts School. And instead of having One Glee Club. They now had numerous Clubs).

What I’ve taken away from watching that show, is that I need to start being honest and what I want and what I can do. Last time I wrote one of these posts, I stated that I would: ‘…write more, read more, follow more…’ and I think it’s safe to say that I haven’t delivered on any of those promises. I haven’t even really tried.

When I wrote that report, I honestly thought that things were going to be different. I really did, and I guess a part of me wanted to believe that if I put pen to paper then published it all online afterwards, that maybe I might just do better.

So here is me, being completely honest. I’m not going to write more, I’m not going to read more and I’m definitely not going to follow more. I’m not even going to say that I will ‘try’ because deep down I already know that I won’t.

But, I do love Writing and I do love Blogging. So I’m not going to stop, I’m just going to stop placing undue pressure to write and create. And hopefully, this is the start of a more honest A.J. BAWSE.

See, this is what comes with being a Rebel (I’ll elaborate on this further in the next report, I don’t know when. But I will).

That’s a promise.

– A.J. BAWSE, Xx

10:52AM: (FINISHED)

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#SoCS – Living Proof…

6:13PM: ‘Story Time!’

“Given the nature of their relationship, I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t leave her dear.” The older woman stated bluntly.

“Boy, that sure was quick. Look, I understand that you don’t like me very much…”

“Stop! Please, just stop. It’s not that I don’t like you dear, I just don’t like what you did.”

“What I did… You have to know, I never intended…”

“…To hurt anybody?” She interjected, cutting off the young woman. (If she could even be called that).

“Well guess what, you did. You broke my son’s heart, and you have the audacity to show up here a month later…”

“To apologise!” The young girl exclaimed. “I know that you may not believe me but it’s true. I’m not here to win him back. In fact, I’m quite pleased to hear that’s he’s in a relationship that is healthy and makes him happy.”

“Good, because he is. For the first time he finally has found stability within his relationship.”

Carol looked down at her shoes, unable to maintain eye contact. She was ashamed that she even had to apologise, but she was even more ashamed of what she had done in the first place.

“I really messed up. I lost the guy that saved me, and traded him for the guy that caused me to need saving in the first place.”

“Yeah, well… It happens. You’re young dear, there’ll be other guys and you’ll learn from the experiences you have with them.” She said as she squashed the cigarette between her shoes and the concrete.

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. After all, look at you.”

Mrs Wilkins raised her face to meet hers, it was like looking in a mirror. She couldn’t help but hope that their situations wouldn’t mirror each other also, despite what she had done.

“Have a good afternoon Mrs Wilkins. Please tell him that I stopped by, and that I apologised.”

“”Will do.” Mrs Wilkins said with the tone of a lie, but with good intentions in the forefront of her mind.

Mrs Wilkins couldn’t bear to tell her son about Carol’s apology. She knew what that could do someone, especially someone as sensitive and forgiving as her son. He’d go running back to her in a heartbeat, because that’s the kind of thing you’d do for your first love.

She knew very well of the effects that running back could do to someone.

After all, sometimes you literally have to live with your mistakes…

6:31PM: (FINISHED)


Here you are! My fourth post in response to #SoCS. I’m sorry that it took so long, the reasoning behind my absence is explained here. So go check it out as well!

Also, thank you so much Linda for this prompt! (As always).

And as always, for those of you that are curious about the rules, here they are:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!

Be sure to click on ‘#SoCS’ to view Linda’s blog and get further information regarding this prompt and be sure to click the ‘here’ to check out my last blog post!

Thanks for reading!

– A.J. BAWSE, Xx

A Year in Review: ’16 Edition

2016 is finally coming to close, and this collage that you see… This is celebrating all the posts that I am most proud of, the most popular ones and one of them is a type of post that was done last year. But I’m feeling that next year some more of this particular type of post will make a strong comeback to ‘Ainswordly’ and I cannot wait!

This year has really tested me in ways I couldn’t even imagine, and I can’t help but realise that when I read over these posts again. All the lessons I’ve learned, the growth that has come to me as a writer and as a person has truly been bizarre!

Now, I’m not going to lie… I’m not going to make a personal New Year’s Resolution. I personally don’t believe in them, and I feel like a lot more people are unsuccessful in achieving these resolutions than the people that do. I’m not going to lie, I did kind of make one… But I’ve already started working towards that goal already! If you want to know more of this goal, be sure to read:

If you want to know more of this goal, be sure to read: THE PROGRESS REPORT (No. 1 – The Reminder to Try Harder!’

I just thought of an example of how I have changed as a writer, the laptop. I would always flat out just write my posts on a laptop.  But ever since I have started taking pen to paper before I hit publish, I feel like my posts have improved in style and creativity.

I’ll let you be the judge of that, hehe 🙂

Haha, it’s funny. I’m writing this post now on a laptop and I feel weird. I forgot how scary and unpredictable typing could be when you have absolutely no idea what you are going to say! I guess I’m doing this now to see how much I truly have grown.

I’m also writing this post because I wanted to give you all a massive ‘Thank You!’. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone that has hit like, or follow or left a lovely comment to brighten my day! You are all so lovely and I’m so thankful to be surrounded by such positivity and creativity!

I truly hope you too have all had an amazing year, and I can only hope that 2017 brings you all the health, happiness good fortune possible.

I thoroughly look forward to writing more posts for you all, just as much as I look forward to reading yours.

I will be a better blogger, I will!

Just you wait.

Wait, is that a resolution? Gosh darn!

– Love Ainsworth, Xx

P.S. I included the names of all the blog posts in the collage above, but unfortunately, I couldn’t link them! 😦 So if you would like to read them, you’ll just have to scroll through or just search through Google. Who knows? Maybe next year I would’ve figured it out. Haha!

 

TLT: Flower Power

9:27PM: ‘I’m late, I know!’

In the park, there’s this wall.

Where a pretty pink flower stands ever so tall.

What a shame that such beauty and innocence, is overpowered by everyone’s ignorance.

9:29PM: (FINISHED)


DISCLAIMER: This is a ‘Fictional’ Post.

Sorry for the late post, but I’m here now! At first, I struggled with trying to write something that correlated to this week’s photo. But I did manage to come up with something in the end 🙂

To participate in the Three Line Tales. Be sure to click on the green to find out more information regarding the rules.

Photo Credit: Bruno Nascimento (Courtesy of Unsplash.com)

Happy Writing!

– Ainsworth, Xx

Tragedy

DISCLAIMER: This is a ‘Fictional’ Post.

Now, this post was originally inspired ‘The Daily Post‘ December 5th Prompt – Vanish. It was then going to be a part of the December 7th Prompt – Protest. But, I have altered it so that it could fit in with the December 10th Prompt – Abide. So enjoy! Xx

Photo Credit: Hernan Sanchez (Courtesy of Unsplash.com)


2:17PM: ‘This is a long post y’all!’

Great, in about six minutes, this ‘session?’ (I guess you could call it), will finally be over. 

I drew in a breath of relief.

How is it possible that after two weeks of these group sessions, that I still wasn’t able to talk about what had happened?

Well, I guess staring at the clock for the whole time can’t make it any easier for me to trust these people. Especially when they were meant to be helping me sort through my ‘grief’. 

I suppose I can’t complain because I’m not listening to them. I’m not really helping them out with their grief, so why should they be helping me? 

This situation took me back to my high school days, specifically, the days where I had to present a speech. I would always get nervous, so much so that I did what I am currently doing now.

Maybe that kind of behaviour could be understood back in High School, but I’m an adult now. And the fact that this habit is still integrated into my personality just proves that I haven’t changed much since then.

I’ll admit, as much as I could keep a watchful eye on the arms of the analogue clock. Praying that this would be over and go away, along with that tightening feeling that sat in the pit of my stomach… I knew that the inevitable would happen.

It would be my turn to speak.

Except, this time, there was no speech to guide me. There was nothing to calm my nerves, there was nothing to hide behind. The only thing that seemed to provide me with any form of relief now was the fact that in just a few minutes, I could go home and ignore it (Until next week that is…).

“Thank you for sharing your story, Jessie.” Said the guy who I believed was Chris? I can’t for the life of me remember.

“Gina, would you like to share your story now?” He turned and asked me.

“But, we only have four minutes left?! We should just pack up now!” I exclaimed.

“Or we could use those four minutes to hear about you, and what you’re going through.”

“But, isn’t there someone else that could go?”

“Nope, only you. We’ve heard from everyone else already.”

“You can’t force me to tell you anything! You don’t know anything about me or my life!” I yelled doubting it was any use.

“You’re not wrong there Gina. I can’t force you to tell your story. But I can persuade you to speak up. As the first step to resolving a problem is admitting it.” He remarked, saying it with such certainty.

“Now, you don’t have to talk to us Gina. But, you do need to talk to someone, anyone.”

“I’ll tell you what. If you promise me that if you leave here that you’ll get the help you need. We’ll pack up right now.” He propositioned.

“What if I lie to you, though?”

“Those lies will affect you more than they will me Gina.”

“But, I already feel so numb. What happened to my loved ones hurt, these lies… I don’t think that they will.” I continued to protest.

“And what exactly happened to them, Gina?”

“My family… we fought, he took them, I tried, and then… they died.” I said through sharp breaths. I decided to finally abide by Chris and this group.

But, what I didn’t tell them… or would ever tell them. Is that their deaths were always coming, before they even set foot in that car…

2:48PM: (FINISHED)

Lenses

2:24AM: ‘YAY! More poetry on the way! (Hey, that rhymed! How ‘eye-ronic’. Haha, okay I’ll just leave now…) 

I used to see the world through my camera’s lens

It was a way to unwind, a way to not feel so tense

Then it broke, and I said goodbye. So now I see the world, through a set of two eyes.

2:28AM: (FINISHED)


DISCLAIMER: This is a ‘Fictional’ Post.

So, after writing this post… I have decided that I am going to ‘try’ (emphasis on that) to incorporate as much poetry as I can into these prompts! YAY! Now truth be told, I really do like writing these posts. And because I don’t generally write poetry, I’m going to make my responses to these prompts as ‘poetic’ as possible 🙂

So, to participate in Three Line Tales. Be sure to click on the green to find out information regarding the rules.

Photo Credit: Grant McCurdy (Courtesy of Unsplash.com)

Happy Writing! 

– Ainsworth, Xx

Evolution

DISCLAIMER: This is a ‘Non-Fiction’ Post.

This post is inspired by ‘The Daily Post‘ November 23rd Prompt – Anticipation. So enjoy! Xx


2:54AM: ‘Ah, back to these prompts…’

When I say the word ‘Anticipation’ I couldn’t help but think of a song that I had heard the previous morning…

‘I’ll be Waiting’ by Adele

This is a catchy song about anticipating a person’s love when it’s disappeared or just not there…

It’s funny, how once upon a time this song was the story for both of our lives. But inevitably, we have both changed, grown and matured since then…

See Adele has grown from this song as she now has a partner, and furthermore, they have a son together. (She also plans to expand her family further!).

For me, I’ve gotten over the guy I’d say that I’d most likely think about when I hear this song. But after the passing of two years since I told him how I felt, I can honestly say that I’m over him.

Hence why the waiting is over for the both of us…

Now for me, I instead anticipate a future that will hopefully entail happiness more than sadness. (It makes me so happy to say that my future happiness doesn’t revolve around having a guy anymore).

After all, I’m all the man I need…

3:04AM: (FINISHED)

On Closer Inspection…

DISCLAIMER: This is a ‘Fictional’ Post.

Now, in one bit of this story. It does make reference to a part of my personality, points to who gets it! 🙂

This post was inspired by ‘The Daily Post‘ November 18th Prompt – Mythical. So enjoy! Xx


11:29AM: ‘At least this was easier than the last prompt! Haha’

“What’s that you’re drawing Gracie? Is it a horse?” 

“No Miss, it’s a Unicorn.”

The Teacher adjusted her glasses and picked up the piece of paper, it was indeed the mythical creature that Gracie had pointed out.

She couldn’t help but reminisce on her youth; when she would draw rainbows.

She was jolted from these thoughts, as she felt the drawing being tugged by Gracie. Who was struggling to retrieve the drawing she so desperately wanted to finish.

“Oh here Gracie, I’m so sorry about that.” The Teacher stated, slightly embarrassed.

“That’s okay, I’m used to having things being taken away from me.” She replied, murmuring the last part.

“What is that supposed to mean Gracie?”

“It’s just something my Dads said; after we lost my Mum.”

“Oh, he does?” The Teacher questioned.

“Yep, that’s why I draw unicorns.”

“I don’t understand Gracie.”

“I love to draw, so my Dad told me to always draw things that I loved because that’s the best thing that you can ever put into something you care about. Like he did with Mum.” She said as she finished drawing the horn.

“Ah, so that’s why there are unicorns.” The Teacher said before she walked away. 

It was funny how things from afar can seem so… ordinary. But when you look upon closer inspection, they can reveal things beyond your imagination.

After all, she did draw rainbows when she was young…

11:42AM: (FINISHED)

Negligance

DISCLAIMER: This is a ‘Fictional’ Post.

Now, I’m not going to lie. I really did struggle with this prompt initially. But, as the saying goes ‘Better late than never.’

This post was inspired by ‘The Daily Post‘ November 17th Prompt – Percolate. So, enjoy! Xx


9:51PM: ‘This took me a ridiculous amount of time to write! Gosh Ains!’

“Could you percolate my coffee please?” My Boss asked.

“Huh?” Was all I could manage to utter.

“Haha, you see that pot over there? That’s called a ‘Percolator’. I’d like you to make my coffee with it.” He stated condescendingly.

“Didn’t the production of percolators get disbanded in the 70’s due to the invention of the electric drip?” I questioned, taking a sip of my own coffee. (With an electric drip, mind you.)

“Haha, so I’ve been told. So what if I’m old-fashioned. Some people even loved that about me once upon a time…”

“Besides, I like using a percolator. Does that make me a bad person?” He continued.

“Nope,” I paused. “It just makes you refuse change…”

“See the way I view it, if you don’t change things every once in a while. You begin to neglect the things that you have because you think that they’re always going to be there. Change gives you an appreciation for what you have…

“Or should I say ‘had’,” I said sarcastically.

“I really hope that you’re not implying that I never appreciated you.”

“Well, maybe if I had felt some appreciation… maybe our marriage wouldn’t have failed.”

“I wasn’t the best husband was I?” He said with a more serious tone…

“That’s an understatement… but still, I have no regrets.”

He smiled, “Tell you what, make me a tea. If I like it, your point would’ve been proven correct. Therefore, you can keep your job…

“And who knows, maybe I’ll even finally appreciate you.”

My mouth dropped open, as I proceeded to boil the water. My job was now on the line, and for what? A TEA?! 

I hoped to God that he’d like it…

**

That afternoon I packed up everything in my office. Now, it wasn’t because he didn’t like the tea. He actually didn’t mind the taste of it at all…

I’ve decided to start following my own advice. Who was I to chastise him about change when I had been in this job for as long as I could remember. So,I’m going to start up my own business, maybe even in a different field, who knows?

As I walked out of my office, I glanced at my Boss one last time. His head was absorbed in the work on his desk, that wasn’t a surprise. Walking out of this job would mark the end of our working relationship.

He gazed up at me through the glass, we stared at each other. Way longer than two work colleagues would, but not long enough to realize that this would be the final goodbye.

As I was about to leave, he shot a wink at me. I couldn’t help but return the wink with one of my own before I exited the building.

Now that I was immersed in the overly polluted air of the city, I couldn’t help but think of how our working relationship may be over. But, maybe another relationship wasn’t…

10:14PM: (FINISHED)

I’m out — Linda G. Hill

DISCLAIMER: Hi Everyone, I’m sharing this post because one of my beloved writers and friends is going through a spot of trouble at the moment. And her book needs to desperately be sold. If you’re like me and cant’t obtain this book, than I’m begging you. Please, please, please make a conscious effort to share the hell out of this post! Do whatever you can to help!

Much love to you all,

– Ainsworth, 🙂 Xx


I’m out. Of money, that is. It’s official. I went to the grocery store today to pick up some essentials and I got the dreaded “Insufficient Funds” screen on the debit machine. Though it’s killing me to do so, I’d like to ask a favour. If you haven’t already, please buy my book. If you […]

via I’m out — Linda G. Hill

Disappearing Act (Part 2/2) – Resurface

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of ‘Fiction’. Now, as I stated in my last blog post, this post is a continuation of the one that was posted today/yesterday (wherever you are from). So, personally I would advise going to that post first (If you want). But, just know that both posts are stand-alone 🙂

This post was inspired to me by not only ‘The Daily Post‘ October 19th Prompt, but October 20th’s Prompt – Ancient. Enjoy!


11:14PM: ‘Part Two here we go!’

“Why didn’t you speak to him? I mean, it’s what you’ve wanted to do for the past two years! That’s why you were so intent on finding him in the first place!” My friend Lucy stated. We’d just become friends before he disappeared. So, she had a deep awareness and understanding of this situation.

“I… I couldn’t. What would I say?! That I hated his guts long after he just disappeared?! Or that there’s a part of me that still has unresolved feelings for him?! And that they may partly be the reason I haven’t moved on in all this time?!” I roared. I hated this person, the person I had become because of him. And the person I had become after he left.

Funnily enough, I thought it would be easy to revert back to the person I was. Before it all happened, but I guess a love like ours… Isn’t that easy to recover from. How could four short months still have such a large impact on me after all these years?!

Maybe it isn’t about the time at all, maybe when you meet someone. Someone that you’re going to end up loving, and having that love reciprocated… It has this permanent hold on you, and even if you do manage to let go… it never really goes away completely. But, that was about love that was ‘true’. And I wasn’t sure if our love was…

I mean, I know my feelings were. As were his, but now… who knows?!

“Kim, I know you guys were ancient history…”

“Were?” I questioned. “Oh no, we are ancient history. He left me Lucy.”

“I know, but you never quite know what the future holds… that’s the beauty of life.”

“Yeah well, I don’t need to be a psychic to know exactly what the future holds for us, and yes… life may be beautiful. But what he did, how he made me feel… isn’t! I loved him! And the way he was, when I saw him all those years ago… it didn’t really seem like he felt the same way.”

“Have you asked him?’

“Why bother, I know I’m being my usual dramatic self. But, when I wanted to talk to him… He wasn’t here. And expecting me to be here for him, now. It’s not fair…”

Lucy continued to gaze out the window, mindlessly drifting into something far more interesting than what we were talking about. I couldn’t blame her, she’s probably heard enough of my whinging on this topic to last a lifetime.

She sighed, before she stood up and left.

I stood up, and turned out the window… sure enough, there he was. Walking up along my driveway. And with a look of determination fixed onto his face that said he wasn’t going to let me disappear that easily, not again anyway… great. I guess his ‘stubbornness’ is something that has gone unchanged these past couple of years…

I sighed before turning away from the window, and taking deep breaths. There was no escaping now, he knew and I knew it.

Whether I liked it or not… disappearing was no longer an option for me.

11:36PM: (FINISHED)

Disappearing Act (Part 1/2) – Slipping Away

DISCLAIMER: This is once again purely a work of ‘Fiction’. Now, I’ve been thinking that after seeing today prompt on ‘The Daily Post‘, I am considering as to whether I should make this story two-parts. If you would like to see that at all, leave a comment at the bottom of this one!

This post was inspired to me by ‘The Daily Post‘ October 19th Prompt – Underground. Enjoy! 🙂


12:28AM: ‘EUREKA! I’ve got it!’

‘He’s back…’ I said to myself, my voice barely above a whisper. A shorter haircut, some finer clothes… even his walk is different somehow. But, that’s definitely him.

I was about to disappear, similar to what he did to me two years ago. But, precisely at the moment I thought I could get away…

“Kimberley!” I heard him yell. The people in the food court, who had previously been tucking in and making small talk with company now had all of their attention on me. I covered my face as I stated without turning around;

“Sorry, wrong person.” In my best British Accent, before he even had a chance to reply I started to walk away. I started holding my head up, eyes slowly pulling into focus on the sliding glass doors that lead to court yard outside.

Before I made it, thinking I was safe. My mind started to drift and focus on something else, footsteps. Behind me; the undeniable sounds of footsteps. Quickening ones at that… Crap, he was following me. Okay, maybe I had to add ‘smarter’ to the list of things that had changed about him. But nonetheless, I had to lose him. But how?

As I neared the doors, I spotted a red, circular button that had the words ‘Fire Alarm’ inscribed above it. I slowly shifted into a sharp left turn, and without hesitation I hit the button.

The alarm reverberated through the walls of the mall, and that along with the sounds of running and screaming were the only sounds that could be heard now. It was selfish, I know… But given my selfless nature has only led me to hurt and suffering, I decided to put a stop to that at once.

“Why would you do that?!” He barked.

“To avoid this?” I stated matter-of-factly, as I made a gesture pointing between him and me.

“Avoid what?! Seeing me again? Look, I’m sorry I disappeared…”

“Disappeared, you might as well have been underground! I spent months trying to find you, and when I finally did you had already moved on!” I screeched. I was trying so hard to not get angry, but clearly not hard enough. I honestly thought that I had let go, and moved on. But, it seems I still have so much hate left in me. Maybe talking to him would be the key to letting go, once and for all.

And then that’s when I saw it, the look of defeat as his face fell towards to the ground. Looking at his shoes, he knew that he couldn’t justify that. Why? Because I was right.

“Kimberley…” he said exhausted, as he finally looked up to meet my gaze. Panicked people were now rushing to get past us, as I heard the familiar sound of the fire trucks pull up outside.

“You know, you’re not the only one that can go underground!” I yelled before I made my disappearance. And unlike the person I was all those years ago… I didn’t intend to go back.

1:04AM: (FINISHED)

Guidance through Light

Lighthouses always showed the way, that was their purpose.

I even recall a show I watched in adolescence, ‘Round the Twist’ I start reminiscing on this memory fondly.

If only it’s light could show me the way forward now, so I would constantly stop looking back…


DISCLAIMER: So here it is! My entry for Three Line Tales Week 38′. 

Now, to be honest up until today I had never even heard of Three Line Tales so partaking straight away was quite a shock to me.

I would also like to say thank you to Sonya for this prompt! It is definitely something I look forward to doing again. Visit Sonya’s Blog if you would like to participate also, all the rules and guidelines will be over there. Just click on the green link to take you there 🙂

I hope I’ve addressed this prompt properly, any feedback would be greatly appreciated. As this is something I’d like to get better at 🙂

Photo Credit (for the Prompt): By William Bout

Thanks,

– Ainsworth, Xx

Music Musing: Love In The Dark by Adele (2015)

2:19AM: ‘Really Ains?’

You’d think that it’d be easy right? Given my love for this song, and for Adele… you’d think that expressing my thoughts for the song that I’ve come to love would come naturally. But to be honest, I’m struggling here.

But, now that I ponder about it some more…

So, for many months now I have tried to find the thing that has been causing me misery for a long time now. In everything and everyone around me with no succession. And then this song came on, and it all clicked. And suddenly, I didn’t feel so alone.

This song basically dabbles around the fact that Adele, was in or currently has a relationship with someone that she just can’t seem to leave and explores the balance between being ‘happy’ (living) and ‘sad’ (surviving) and the darkness that comes from drifting apart from a person to such an extent that to salvage what was once had, would be deemed ‘pointless’. As we learn through the song that she’s ashamed of not only falling out of love with person, but realising that she must let go in order to be happy and to live.

I highly recommend listening to the whole album! (If you haven’t already).

Track No. 8 Folks and Happy Listening!

– Ainsworth, 🙂 Xx

3:03AM: *FINISHED*

I’ll Remember (Writing 101 – Prompt 15)

Sorry again for the delay in my writing, now when I was asked about what to write for today’s prompt it stumped me. But, after time away I’ve finally come up with something that I remember. So, here goes. I hope you all like it. I’ll try my hardest to complete all my prompts soon. (SEE THE END FOR FURTHER NOTES).


This all happened in January, well December 31st if we really want to get technical. It all started out with my Mum driving me out to my friend’s place. My friend and I were planning on heading up to Sydney to see the New Year’s Fireworks. I’d seen them before on TV and am never less than impressed by what I see. I was so happy to be asked, after all I couldn’t think of a better way to start the year.

We caught the train and made one stop before we reached our destination, almost missing our stop both times. Whoops, but nonetheless we caught up with my friend’s family and spent the remainder of the afternoon in our… apartment? Spending more time exploring around the city.

We spent a good amount of the afternoon just talking while we walked and got ice-cream. The ice cream that I obtained not being that good, should’ve trusted my keen instinct.

It was sometime after 8PM that we decided we would venture out into the city to see the 9PM fireworks. The fireworks being broadcasted on both sides of the Sydney Harbour Bridge in perfect unison. These were the fireworks being more geared towards parents with young children and elderly people who just simply couldn’t stay up for the 12AM display.

After those fireworks, we sat atop our apartment roof with our legs overhanging the edge whilst we delved into our ice-cream. I remember having a perfect view of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. The coldness hanging in the air, with my excitement thinking about the spectacle that I would see in a matter of mere hours.

I remember seeing a family dinner in the apartment to my left, I guess it was a family getting together with relatives. Also a good way to start a new year I thought. So much food being placed on the table, I wasn’t quite sure what they had but I would gladly tuck into some of those delicacies.

The time after that became a blur and pretty soon that time for the 12AM fireworks started to set in along with my excitement. I remember leaving at 11:40PM as we started running to get a good spot. We were lucky enough to get there within five minutes and be lucky enough to get a good view towards the front.

Then came the countdown, I couldn’t be more excited to see the seconds on the pillar of the bridge as everyone chanted in unison. As it came to one second, what I had come to see had finally come to purchase and I’m telling you, nothing could compare to those fireworks. I couldn’t stop shouting at the sky as all those colours filled the night sky, morning sky I should say. The fireworks being shown in all directions, making it impossible to focus on one spot.

The best part being the golden river of fireworks that resembled a waterfall as it cascaded off the bridge and into the water below. The golden rows of fireworks that were shot off at the top of the bridge was just an amazing way to end the show, start the day and the year. What a perfect way to start what I didn’t know would be, the start of an unforgettable year.


So, there you have it! I officially have one week left of prompts before my time in this course concludes. As always please leave a like, rating, follow or feedback as any of these would be greatly appreciated.

I have also posted a Film Review Schedule that has a list of the upcoming films that I’m going to review. Please check that out, I am currently taking requests so if there is a film that you’d like me to review please leave a comment on any of my blog posts and I’ll try my best to review them.

Thanks, Happy Reading and Good Job to Everyone who participated in Writing101 this year, I hope I see you all again next year!,

– Ainsworth 🙂 , Xx

Big Hero 6 Film Review

Now, this is my first film review so you could say that I am pretty stoked! I hope I am doing this right, please read, like, follow or leave feedback just to know with where I’m at and if I should continue this.

Thanks for your continued support,

– Ainsworth 🙂


This movie was superb, for me what stood out wasn’t the characters, voices or acting. But the visuals and the way this movie dealt with loss and grief.

Visuals

The visuals in this movie were amazing, the art was so cleverly drawn that it left me wondering how it was possible to achieve this high level of animation? The city (San Fransokyo) is a prime example of how far the visuals have come over the years. Along with Baymax, which I’ll applaud Disney over making this cute robot that will make any kid’s heart melt.

This movie had a strong use of colours throughout and really gave this movie a modern and futuristic feel in the process.

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San Fransokyo at Night

 

Cinematography

The cinematography (the movement of photography in an image) was cleverly achieved in this movie. This is something that Disney never fails to miss with any of it’s movies. Probably the best I’ve ever seen in a Disney Movie.

Story Telling

This I felt was done particularly well in this movie, the beginning and the ending for the most part. The middle lacked and lost me a bit and in turn left me with something that felt all too familiar. They did use comedy and mystery to drag this out, and even though I was left guessing, it all felt too cliché.

In this movie, (SPOILERS AHEAD, DON’T WANT OR LIKE DON’T READ!) Hiro and his friends take it upon themselves to stop the main antagonist (Professor Callaghan). They try first time and fail, then once after the main protagonist has time away (Wreck-it-Ralph – Ralph) all the protagonists regroup ending with their connection being stronger than ever. This honestly is now just getting overused. But, at least not much time was spent on this aspect throughout the movie.

Also, the parents were once again dead before the beginning of the movie. As much as this did convey the main protagonists’ struggle with loss, Disney needs to come up with something more original.

Characters

Now, besides Hiro and Baymax (the two main protagonists), I didn’t really feel the other characters were needed and just wasted time and space. They didn’t feel relatable and overall felt too weak to be plausible. I would much rather have Hiro and Baymax try to defeat the antagonist on their own to build up more suspense.

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Big Hero 6 Characters

Sound

The background score along with the voice acting was good throughout this film. Something that is very consistent throughout Disney Films.

Conclusion

In Conclusion, this movie has to have been one of my favourites of all time. Although it was a let down in regards to originality. Congratulations to Disney on winning the Academy Award Winner for Best Animated Film of 2014. Definitely a treat for us viewers and definitely well deserved. A must-watch for everyone! 🙂

Review Rating: 3.5/5 Stars

My Personal Rating: 4/5 Stars

The Progress Report (No. 2) – The Dawn of A.J. BAWSE

DISCLAIMER: This is a ‘Non-Fictional’ Post.

This is the second instalment to ‘The Progress Report‘. Now this is a pretty long post, so for those of you who make it to the end, well all I can say is congratulations! 

I’m also going to ensure that from here on out that I include the name of the person (and the website) whose photos I’m utilising throughout my posts

Any likes, comments or follows would be greatly appreciated as always 🙂

Gosh it sure is good to be back!

Photo Credit: Anthony DELANOIX (Courtesy of Unsplash.com)

Photo Editor: By ME! (Courtesy of Befunky.com)


3:52PM: ‘Wow, this is weird. It’s funny how you can miss so much in the space of a couple of months.’

It’s been too long, I know. 3 Months of not writing and now suddenly I’m back. It’s quite ironic when I think about it, see if you read my last blog post (Click Here: ‘A Year in Review’) you’d know that one of my promises was to become a better blogger.

Now, I am aware that the lack of posts may seem like I may have forgotten about this promise. However, I can assure you that this isn’t the case and this is why.

See, somewhere between December up until now, even before that, for years I would lose my will to write, create and to read. However, in this case I’d say that a lot of factors including unfortunate circumstances and a stroke of bad luck (just to name a couple) contributed to my lack of blog posts.

I’ll start at the beginning, last year I finished High School. Now to anyone close to me, it isn’t much of a secret that I didn’t try very hard in any areas relating to school work. Such as Homework, Assessments and Exams. If you’d ask me why this was, I’d probably tell you that because I didn’t know what I wanted to do, it made it very difficult for me to get motivated to do well.

Or I’d simply state to you, as I have to many other people (myself included) that School wasn’t for me‘. Now, I’m going guessing that some of you will probably be thinking by this point that they’re pretty lame excuses. Which truth be told, they are. But for me, this is my truth. I’m sure there’s more to it than that and I promise that if I ever figure it out… I’ll write about it.

It would be interesting to find out the deeper reason after all.

Therefore, because of my attitude towards High School I wasn’t left with much at the end of the year. Which, in all honesty… If I had known prior to that date, I for sure would’ve tried harder to get my act together and get through it. I even discovered that if I had tried just a little bit harder, that it would’ve made all the difference.

So as it happens, the University I wanted to go to just so happens to run one of the best Diploma Course Programs in the country. Now they run this Program in 3 different ways:

– Accelerated: Which runs for 8 Months.

– Standard: Which runs for 12 Months.

– Extended: Which runs for 16 Months.

I personally wanted to do the ‘Extended Course’ (Mainly because that’s the one I thought I could get into). Now one of the good things that this Program does is that it looks at your total marks and then takes the average of those marks. Whatever the average you get, that determines which course you’re eligible to get into.

See, prior to me having to go down to the University in person to submit all my documentation. I completed my application online, now part of doing the application online is that it you have to put it in the subjects that you did along with the marks that you obtained. Now whether they don’t take these marks because you haven’t provided them with all the documentation regarding your identity is beyond me.

But anyhow, anyone would think that even if I didn’t have proof of my identification. You’d think that if you were able to put your marks into the application, and were able to complete it with no hassles that you were somehow eligible to get in.

So within a couple of days, my Mum and I travelled down to the City to submit the documentation. Which would finalise my application, and I would get in. We got there an hour and a half later via train and we got a ticket and sat down. Not long after I was called up to the counter and the woman took my documents and looked them over. She asked me to type in my Student Number and Password so that she could see all my marks for herself. So she took her calculator and input all my marks. I saw her make a disapproving face as she typed in the numbers again. I knew something was wrong, something in me knew what was coming. But I just didn’t want to admit it.

“Sorry Sir, but unfortunately your average isn’t high enough to get into the course that you want’ to get into.” I sat there in shock, I was in so much shock that I didn’t utter another word except a quick ‘Thank You’ and ‘Goodbye’. I was shocked so much that I didn’t stand up and fight, I had just simply conceited. The day that had been filled with so much hope, ambition and promise had been dwindled into nothing. All because of the gap between the averages.

Now, you know how I said earlier that if I had tried just a little bit harder that it would’ve made all the difference? Well, here’s where I revisit that point by stating that the average I needed was ‘63%’. Do you know what I got? I got ‘62.25%’. I was 0.75% off and they refused to let me into the course.

What they didn’t know was that I also refused, I refused to believe this to be my fate. So for weeks after, I kept conversing with the woman who helped me initially with my application (who happened to be the Acting Team Leader at the time) to review my case and send it to her superiors. Unfortunately I didn’t meet the minimum entry requirements so I was unsuccessful once again.

There is another part to this story, but I think I’ll save it for now. This blog post is pretty long as it is, haha.

Now after going back to the drawing board, I’ve come up with a product of sorts that will help me to be better: ‘A.J. BAWSE!’.

A.J. BAWSE represents everything I want to be, everything I want to stand for and everything I need to be in order to be the best version of me. At the moment, A.J. BAWSE has done a whole lot of thinking and has told me where I should be going in life. It involves a whole lot of moving, double majors and a dream coming true.

A.J. BAWSE is going to be the person that upholds all the promises that were mentioned in my last blog post. He’s going to write more, read more, follow more… Just do MORE! Because that’s what you all deserve.

So as of now, I am changing the name of the author to this blog (and quite possibly the bio). For now, ‘AINSWORDLY’ will stay as my site name. But that could be subject to change in the future.

Okay, okay the only reason I won’t change it now is because you need to be a premium member to change the address. Hehe 😀

Hopefully that’s not the only address that’ll change in the near future 😉

– A.J. BAWSE, Xx

4:15PM: (FINISHED)

THE PROGRESS REPORT (No. 1) – The Reminder to Try Harder!

DISCLAIMER: This is a ‘Non-Fictional’ Post.

So I came up with an idea over the weekend. This is going to be a new segment in my blog where I just discuss with you the inner workings of my mind. (I do think a lot, and I figured hey! Might as well share that with you guys!)

Sit down, grab yourself a coffee or a tea and read about my life and what I’ve come to realise from it 🙂

Be sure to leave a like, comment or follow if you do like it! Feedback is appreciated 🙂


2:17PM: ‘And, today on Ainswordly let’s welcome our newest segment!’

It happened four days ago… (Four score, seven years ago. Haha, what? I couldn’t help myself). One year of hard work and preparation (or lack of) had come down to this one day. It was this day that had hit me with the realisation of just how delusional and naive I had been.

How could I possibly think that a lack of interest and motivation would lead me to the number that I had wanted when this day was to arrive?

See all my life, I have had this tendency to not put effort into the things I needed to and somehow hope that I would come out the other end unscathed. And up until this year, this had worked.

Every. Single. Time.

Until now…

Now the Universe is trying to give me my wake-up call, it’s trying to scare me into realising that this callous and carefree nature just won’t cut it in my adulthood.

If I’m being completely honest, I don’t think that the seriousness of the situation has kicked in. I mean, I’ve basically been doing one thing since I finished my exams…

What is that? You ask…

Absolutely nothing!

Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true. I guess for the first time in my life I’ve actually been working out. (I know, crazy right?!) But, I have been doing exercises at home in order to get the abs I desire.

So, I do have a goal. And so far I am working hard to get there.

Not that I’ve made changes into my eating habits of course (Let’s not get too carried away, haha). But otherwise, I have been trying very, very hard in my exercises.

How do I know this?

Well a couple of night ago during my workout, I had finished my second set. And the idea of struggling through the third made me incredibly weary. But I did struggle through it, I completed all of the six exercises that were in the third set! (I do three sets of the same exercises 🙂 )

Why am I writing this post?

Well, this post is my reminder. To try harder and to know that when I put my mind to it, that I can achieve whatever I want. This post is our reminder to not give up on our goals (No matter how long they may take, haha).

I’m going to wrap it up with an Adele Reference (or two, hehe).

‘Hello from the other side!’

‘Go on, go on and take it! Take it!’

It’s been good chatting, how about we do it again sometime?

– Ainsworth, 🙂

2:52PM: (FINISHED)

#SoCS – Sharing

2:05PM: ‘Thank you, Linda!’

Ah, Christmas! That time of year where we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, spend valuable time with family, (and of course, get presents! Hehe).

With Christmas only being three weeks away, it’s made me realise that in the past, I haven’t been the best at sharing. (Even to this day, if I’m being completely honest). And with adulthood quickly rapidly approaching, maybe now might be the time to change that…?

For example, when I was younger, (I kid you not) I was the worst at keeping secrets. I would share the secrets that I had been told practically the moment after I had found out. I would either tell it to the person it was regarding directly. Or I would tell that person’s circle of friends knowing full well that it would be spread (indirectly).

Nowadays, I think it’s a safe bet to admit that I no longer engage in such pettiness.

Now, I’m in a situation where I want to share something (But, I feel that deep down I’m not doing this for the right reasons). I will be sure to go into it in another post, but what I will say is that I’m giving someone something for the sole purpose of not wanting it anymore. (Yep, the pettiness is real 😦 )

Sometimes, I can’t help but think that I’m incapable of sharing. I mean, secrets aren’t the only things that I hold back on. Take my personality for example. My fear of not being liked by everyone (Or simply not being good enough) has created this facade of sorts. (Now don’t get my wrong, this front is a PART of my personality. Maybe even the better part, but I don’t want it to be all of it…).

But, for now over Christmas and the New Year. I’m going to work on sharing (More ‘selflessly’ than ‘selfishly’).

What I’m asking you, dear reader is:

‘Do you share for the right reasons?’

‘How exactly do you share?’

‘And what exactly do you share?’ 

2:24PM: (FINISHED)


So, here it is! My third post in response to ‘#SoCS’. Thank you so very much Linda for this prompt! I will admit, it did take me a while to come up with a word. But once I thought of ‘share’ I knew that it would tie in perfectly with this prompt and the time of year in which we are in 🙂

For anyone who wanted to participate, here are the rules as follows:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!

Be sure to click on ‘#SoCS’ to view Linda’s blog and get further information regarding this prompt! Xx