I took down the last photo off my bedroom wall before I stared at it. Tilting my head, simply for the sake of trying to make sense of what I was observing. This photo had been hiding behind all my other photos, why this was so managed to pique my interest. The photo had been of me with a group of my friends and other guests from a few years back, smiling faces were seen all around; even mine. It would’ve fit perfectly with all my other photos. I remembered the day that this photo had been taken now and suddenly I remembered what happened.
“Time for photos!” I heard my friend exclaim through the corridor. All the guests made their way to the living room, whilst I hurried towards the other end of my house to get my boyfriend. He was the one that had organised my surprise party after all. What I saw next was an image that I vowed to never forget, it felt like I was staring at a photo. Time stood still and it seemed to go on forever. No matter how long I stood there I just couldn’t absorb what my eyes were seeing. It was my boyfriend locking lips with my best friend and by the state of their appearance I wouldn’t think that all they did was kiss. I cleared my throat, which immediately broke the sounds of the passion that was filled between them. They stared at each other longingly and slowly turned their heads in unison towards me, removing their hands away from each other.
“I can explain,” he said quietly after a few minutes. The girl looked at him warily, knowing that whatever he said or didn’t say couldn’t possibly justify what I had just witnessed.
“Fine then, go on.” I said, daring him. I already knew that I couldn’t forgive him, that the love, trust and respect that I had built for him and for my friend had been wiped away. That the damage had been done and that a few words will never ever be good enough for me.
“Don’t…” I interrupted. “Don’t try to justify anything, don’t try to shield me from the hurt that you two just caused. You know when I saw how much effort you had gone into organising my party I felt something that I hadn’t felt before and I thought that you did too. I guess I was wrong, you really did put the ‘surprise’ into ‘surprise party’.” I stated before he had a chance to say anything. I walked out of the room and slammed the door shut behind me as I strutted my way back to the living room. The guests were now talking amongst themselves, no doubt whispering about the events that had just gone down. My friend had come up to me, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
“What happened?” she asked.
“It’s not important, besides this is a party after all. So let’s take some photos.” All the guests started making their way in front of the camera, everyone trying to squeeze in closer and closer together. The photographer had asked us all to smile which we all did, even me. Even though my smile wasn’t genuine I knew that I couldn’t look back at this photo remembering what had made me feel the way that I do.
Back to Present
A small smile formed onto my face, as much as that day hurt me it did give me the strength that I needed to move on and become a stronger person. It also turns out that she got pregnant that day, they now have a beautiful boy who’s five years old. I guess that’s why I love photos, their ability to capture a feeling, a moment, basically everything. They hold a whole lot of memories for me, even the bad ones which is why I could never throw a photo away. This one isn’t an exception, I’ll hold on to this I thought as I placed it in the box along with the rest of my photos. Just so that I can remember how far I’ve come since then and to hold hope that I will never feel that way again.