Hey Everyone, so I just wanted to point out that before you read this post that this was written two months ago and that the situation that is being subjected to you guys in this post has changed dramatically. But, nevertheless I do feel that this is something that needs to be addressed. So, here goes.
– Ainsworth :-), Xx
I sit here typing at ease, whilst I’m probably meant to be working on my English Homework I can’t help but feel that I need to write something. So I’ve decided to write about the falling of a long friendship and the reinvention of myself in the process.
It happened almost a week ago, when my friend had to take a leave of absence for school (That reason will not be disclosed with anyone as it is a personal matter) and the toll that it had taken on my friends and I definitely ran its course.
How could something that started out so small, something so innocent, eventuate into something much more serious within a matter of days/weeks? How the connection with my friends have changed so much is still quite beyond me. I can’t help but feel bad for letting go of one of the people I used to call a friend. But to be honest, I have felt that our friendship has been dead for a very long time now.
For starters, this boy is very close to a girl. (A girl who is still my friend, but the closeness and trust there unfortunately has disappeared.) Now, they weren’t an item or anything; just very close friends. The connection between these two was strong and as much as they tried to include me; which wasn’t very often, just became too difficult. I just became someone who couldn’t fit in with them anymore without knowing it.
High School is a large place filled with exactly the same people as you. Just a bunch of adolescents coming to the same place day in and day out learning the things that they’re going to need to pass assessments/exams, without this knowledge really being useful in the future for us (which can vary depending). We’re in an environment where we’re not only learning knowledge for our subjects, but also about ourselves. It’s just that we’re surround by the same-minded people.
I can tell you now, that fitting into High School isn’t as easy. I think anyone that has survived their High School years would agree with me on that one. But fitting in with the people you call you friends? It’s ten times harder, it’s like knowing the world that you in, knowing that you belong, but not knowing how to be. Do you conform to get noticed? Do you give up your time? But, I realised that what I should’ve and have done is given him up.
After a while and as you grow up, your ideologies, needs and wants change. I guess I’ve just grown up and outgrown some people now and I have never been this happy. This was definitely a learning curve for me, as I now realise that one doesn’t need a best friend(s) to call their own. What people need is a group of people who will surround them when the world gets too cold and difficult for them to handle.