I’m in a struggle… to put it simply I’m struggling to find the balance in my life in which I feel will provide me happiness. The balance between having a routine and being spontaneous. Is it really possible to completely have one without the other to be happy? To have both and achieve this happiness? I’m not sure, but one thing is for certain, having none of these is definitely not the answer.
You see, my current dilemma is that I’m in school and I’m not that far away from graduating. So, I need to get into a routine in order to get to where I want to be. But the problem is, I don’t know how to find this motivation in order to get into a routine. The only routines I’ve ever really had in my life and have followed are the ones that have been forced upon me. Such as school. Having to arrive, eat and leave at designated times. Now, I need to find a routine within another routine to consolidate what I’ve learnt. With no such luck present; yet (hopefully).
Then comes the issue of being spontaneous and risky, which I don’t consider as big an issue but is still one nonetheless and with me being in school it’s hard to fill this desire as much as I’d like to. See, I never seem to make the most of the opportunities that are presented to me and I let them slip away. With a feeling of regret being left in its wake. But, I never seem to learn from my mistakes because I’m still the same person and nothing around me seems to change. No matter how hard I may want them to, I know that’s it actions that are needed here. Not words.
So, how exactly do I fix these growing issues? I say that they’re growing in the sense that they’re not going to get bigger than me, but that they’re not going to go away either and as time goes on I don’t see any signs of improvement.
In a way, I see this as being the last obstacle on my way to being a better and improved version of who I am now. Tell me, how do guys find the right balance between these two fundamental concepts? And what suggestions do you have in regards to getting where I want to?
Thanks for listening,
– Ainsworth 🙂 , Xx