12:55AM: ‘Second Prompt! Here goes…’
“Yes!” I exclaimed. After five years, my boyfriend (or should I say fiancee) has finally proposed!
Now I’m not going to lie, I wanted to get married. I really did, but the reality of the situation is… I’m petrified. I think I’m just scared of what comes after the wedding…
Yes, I am aware that divorce is always an option. But, after growing up with two parents that quite simply refused to give up on one another… I made the decision to follow suit, to do the same and not give up on my marriage. When the time came…
I remember a conversation I had with Dad, he had asked me, “Are you very sure that you want to marry this man kiddo?”
“Of course Dad! Why do you ask?”
“Well, you aren’t exactly the best at making decisions. And this inability to do so is only heightened when you are under pressure. I mean, when you were a kid…”
“But that’s the thing, Dad, I’m not a kid anymore. I haven’t been one for quite a while now. For example, I’m 25 years old and you’re still calling me ‘kiddo’.”
“You know what, you’re right. As of now, you will no longer be known as ‘kiddo’.” He said before lightly planting a kiss onto my forehead, his way of promising me.
When he withdrew he held me at my sides, looked into my eyes and said, “I just want you to be happy, that’s all… That’s all I’ve ever wanted darling.”
“I know Dad. He makes me happy, I can assure you. I promise.”
I started writing my letter, the amount of times that I had stopped and started over the years because I couldn’t quite piece together what I wanted to write, held me back.
‘Dad, I’ve let you down. I didn’t keep my promise, you know, the one that I had made all those years ago. Sure, I haven’t divorced him… yet. What I want to know is, would you forgive me if I walked away?
I know that marriage is sacred, you and Mum taught me that. But you also said that my happiness was important.
And I’ve tried to be happy, and I’ve tried to make it work. I really have Dad.
You know, sometimes I wish you were still here. You had this knack for always knowing what to say… or what to do to make every situation better.
So I’m just going to have to suck it up, because at the end of the day… as much as you care about my happiness…
I care about making you proud more…
And to think, that all this unhappiness and regret started the day I said ‘Yes’.
For anyone wanting to participate, the rules are as follows:
1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.
2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.
3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.
4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.
5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.
6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!
7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.
8. Have fun!
Be sure to click on ‘#SoCS’ to view her blog for further details regarding this prompt! Xx